What have I become? Or should I say, what have we become? Monsters of our own desire and lust?
“Go home.” I hear it whispering,
close to my ears. I wish to, but how? How am I supposed to go home when I
myself have erased the route away from my mind? It is in this woods that I
encounter remorse. Not because of the journey, but because of the detour I
made before.
The moment I stepped my foot way beyond the path that I should’ve traveled,
I don’t dare look back, for I fear the Master’s urging rage. I fear him, but
then the people in the house tell me that I shall fret not. He forgives more
than anyone else does, he accepts more than anyone else does, they say. As long
as I return, reward awaits. REWARDS indeed.
The question is; can I simply put off this boots? They
are the ones dragging me further away. I need to go. I have to. The blame,
is somehow on me. I can’t seem to have the guts to even untie the laces. My worry
is at the thoughts of it being taken by someone else. THAT is something beyond my
control, I am fully aware of. Trust me I’ll come back to you. Trust me on this
one baby, please.
When the time comes, I’ll rush my way here. I promise. I dream of happiness, of peace, in my home, in our home. Not only for me,
but for you too.
p/s: Sayang tak terluah. Payah, kononnya.
MashaAllah, your English is impeccable!!! I sense that u r in dilemma. Hurm, tak tahu apa perlu sy ckp. Just pray to Allah to keep distant from everything that distances you from Him.
ReplyDeleteAnd keep close to you everything that brings you closer to Him. Ameen, Ya Rabb. May Allah bless you my dear friend :)